InTheCapital

How does one even begin to explain this? Am I having a stroke or is this picture actually real life? 

By Charlie Warzel / @cwarzel

BuzzFeed (which finds just about the best stuff this side of the interwebs) noticed that there are quite a few people, presumably the elderly and those with AOL email accounts and Netscape Navigator 3.2 as their browser, who seem to think that Google’s Facebook fan page is some sort of a search engine. Frankly, I’m surprised we haven’t found a Congressperson in here. Here are just some of the gems:

THE EMBARRASSING PORN SEEKERS: Shame. Regret. Morons. If you’re using the internet to look at porn, you gotta at least kinda/sorta know how the internet works, right? Wrong.

my personal favorite…

THE CONFUSED: Poor Shirley just wants some medical advice…could somebody please get her to a medical health professional, please?!

THE WTF: Seriously…like whaaaa?

check out the full list here at BuzzFeed

THE BUZZKILL: To jump on our serious pedestal for a moment: We freakish and hermetic denizens of the internet forget all too often that there are a bunch of people out there without broadband access and who just don’t understand/want/need to care about how the internet works. We obviously have no problem with that…it’s just terrifying when those people happen to be members of congress. 

We’d also like to note that InTheCapital loves and enjoys support from all age groups. In fact, some of our favorite people are in their golden years. We’re looking at you, Grams.

[Lead Image By georgieflower.wordpress.com]

Sh*t DC People Say

By Carl Pierre / @carlpierre

So it was bound to happen, somebody posted a sh*t DC people say. For those unfamiliar, there have been a string of viral videos called sh*t _____ say, which have ranged between sh*t girls say to guys, guys say to girls, white girls say to black girls, etc. There is now a new video depicting things DC people tend to say, which is actually disturbingly accurate. 

My favorite lines:

•  ”You HAVEN’T had the cupcakes there??”
• “Shaw is totally the new Columbia Heights…”
• “Where are you from originally? Right, where are you from O-R-I-G-I-N-A-L-L-Y?”
• “I’ve never dated a Republican…”
• “Jose Andres owns this, right?”
• “They have a GREAT brunch”
• “My place? It’s like…an English Basement”
• “F*cking WIZARDS!”, “…f*cking Redskins!!!”, “ugh…f*cking Caps…”

Take a look at the video, enjoy the hilarity that is DC.

[image and source via DCSh*tlist]

By Carl Pierre / @carlpierre

So true to Google’s perplexing auto-completes, local blog D.C. Sh*tlist uncovered what people Google DC for. For those unfamiliar with Google’s auto-complete feature, it tries to complete or suggest search items into your query by showing the most popular searches depending on what you typed. By hitting “DC is” into the search bar, the following auto completes came in. Some of them will raise your eyebrow, a few will make you laugh, and some are just not surprising.

My top 5 favorites:

1. DC is Going to Hell - I’m assuming due to the highly sensitive and volatile nature that is the American political system, people can grow negative sentiments towards the Nation’s Capital.
2. DC is Ghetto - Depends on where you go and who you ask (see below)
3. DC is Expensive - Depends on where you go and who you ask (see above)
4. DC is Better than Marvel - For all you comic geeks, you will get the reference. For those who don’t, you probably don’t get it because you are having sex regularly.
5. DC is in What State - I hope this auto-complete comes from elementary school students that don’t quite have a grasp on how districts work. My real fear is that grown adults are typing this into the search bar.